If we had to say what writing is, we would define it essentially as
an act of courage.
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Published ArticlesINvitation to Self - Soul of Moxy Woman bimonthly column for www.WomenTCB.com What Matters and What Counts - monthly column for Vive Magazine sign up for the FREE online Vive E-zine Flipbook. HINT: Be sure to click on the E-zine box in the right hand column. Keeping Connected (April-May issue p.94) sign up for the FREE online Vive E-zine Flipbook. HINT: Be sure to click on the E-zine box in the right hand column. Journaling: A Tool for the Times of Your Life, published in Concious Choice, May 2003 (PDF) Poem: Forever Friends, published in The Sage-ing™ Journal, June 2004 (PDF) Over-the-Top Ten Ways to Authentic Intimacy Spiritual Eldering® Newletter, August 2003 Emotional Intelligence: The Key to An Authentic Life – Article #1 The Happiness Factor published in Authentic Living Magazine 2005 Golf ArticlesSix Seconds to Success Emotional Intelligence: The Path to Better Golf The Emotionally Intelligent Path to Golf Enjoyment Weekly EBlipsReceive mini-messages for women The Emotionally Intelligent Path to Golf Enjoymentby Dr. Gary Wiren, Golf Professional and Minx Boren, Personal and Business Coach, as published in Executive Golfer Magazine, October 2002 Issue. Here is a question that few people get asked about their golf: "Are you really having fun?" Be honest. Do you regularly (and we do mean regularly) get joy from the experience? Or do you become depressed when playing poorly, discouraged with your performance, angry on the course, out of sorts when you arrive home, and generally down on yourself? Do these feelings impact your ability to play your best on any given day? If your time on the course is less enjoyable than it could be, we would like to introduce you to Emotional Intelligence (EI), a cutting edge mental technology that is being used by many to create more satisfaction, success, and joy in their lives. Before we do, it's important for you to consider some critical questions about your golf. Have you ever seriously asked yourself: Why do I play this game? What is it that brings me pleasure from the experience? Is golf adding happiness to my life or detracting from it? How can I get more satisfaction from the time that I spend playing? What does a successful day at the golf course include?
Look at the "Golf Enjoyment Scorecard" above and take two minutes to test yourself in order to determine the elements of the game you enjoy. The rewards from developing your Emotional Intelligence (EI) will come from learning to focus on those aspects that you value most highly. As you can see from the Golf Enjoyment Scorecard there are many factors that can affect whether or not you have a "good day" on the course. How many of them do you celebrate or even value? Do you ever think about the quality of a course design, seeing it as a work of art? Do you appreciate beautiful trees and landscaping on the course? How about the satisfaction of hitting even a few great shots to the best of your ability? Does the experience of playing a game with people you like or love, mean something special to you? Just these elements alone can make a great golf day if you choose to recognize them. Gary Wiren Comments . . .
After teaching the game for nearly a half century, I'm convinced that too many golfers are caught up in the "prison of performance," locked into a mentality that equates enjoyment of the game primarily with one criterion---the score. Just eavesdrop on the conversations of golfers after a round and the most common question you hear is, "What did you shoot?" If the score is the only part of golf that is meaningful to your enjoyment, then your "pleasure factor" is going to be very limited indeed. Throughout my career I have been lecturing and writing books about the psychology of golf, telling people not to put all their "enjoyment eggs" into the "basket of scoring" for, if they do, they will only be happy with their golf about 15 to 20% of the time (or less if their expectations are particularly unrealistic!). I too must confess to having succumbed to being a victim of the "verdict of the scorecard" from time to time. I knew the theories related to Emotional Intelligence but had never found quite the right practical tools to effectively confront the frustration, anger, and loss of composure of my students and, at times, myself during a round, that is until I started talking golf with my co-author. Minx Boren Comments . . .As a personal and business coach, I often say to people that I'm in the "happiness business." Why? Because designing a life that works is all about discovering the joy and satisfaction in all that you choose to do. One of the best ways I know for creating a positive mindset and improving outcomes is to develop Emotional Intelligence (EI) skills. In terms of golf, Gary and I are going to explore with you the benefits to be derived from improving just one specific EI skill: choosing enjoyment on the course. Find the JoyUltimately, the aim of EI is to recognize the emotions that we are experiencing at any given moment and to determine what is needed to increase happiness/enjoyment. Why choose happiness? On an emotional level, having fun inhibits negative feelings and quiets worrisome thoughts. As a result, the muscles relax, freeing up energy and creating a sense of well-being. This relaxation response reduces tension which is oftimes considered "the great destroyer of the swing." The bottom line is, when we are enjoying ourselves, the mind is able to think more clearly and the body to perform with fewer physiological constraints. Happiness and enjoyment can only be found in the present and it is a choice we can continually learn to make. If you don't know how to fully enjoy today's round, you won't know how to enjoy tomorrow's either. So consider that maybe this is the time in your golf career to relinquish chasing some numerical milestone, be it 90 or 80 or 70, and broaden your focus to include all aspects of the game. What may surprise you the most is that when you moderate your pursuit of that dream score, you may actually free yourself up enough to find it. Someone wise once said, "Happiness is good attitude and a bad memory." The first part of the statement is self evident. As for a "bad memory", in terms of golf, it involves letting go of the last shot and focusing on the only shot you can do anything about---the one you are about to hit. That was the great Bobby Jones' most valuable lesson. He was often quoted as saying that the most important thing he ever learned to help him produce his best golf game was to play one shot at a time to the best of his ability. Today we would call that "being in the present". His record of finishing either first or second in 11 out of 13 appearances in the U.S. Open would indicate that he may have discovered the golden key to golf that we're all seeking. Your enjoyment of golf may be further enhanced by a "selective" memory that allows you to recall your best shots without dwelling on the less satisfying ones. At a corporate clinic, Jack Nicklaus finished a great ball striking demonstration and turned to the audience of around 30 people to answer questions. One executive seated in front asked, "How do you cure a shank?" Jack smiled and answered, "I don't know. I never hit one." Still smiling, Jack turned to another raised hand, only to hear the original interrogator retort, "I saw you hit one---Pebble Beach, 14th hold, 1984." Jack's smile immediately disappeared. He turned back to the "shank" quizzer and focused "two blue laser stare" on him for about 20 seconds before he answered tersely, "I don't remember. Next question." Champions do not dwell on the negative. They rely on selective memory instead. So, to help you learn to use your memory and not let it use you, here are some EI tips to practice. Suggestions for Improving Your Enjoyment Factor
Return now to the Golf Enjoyment Scorecard. You'll find it presents a sizable sampling of elements that can enhance and enrich your your time on the course. It's up to you to create and incorporate those you most value. It all comes back to that key question: Why do you play the game? Our invitation to you is to consistently remind yourself of that question so that you can focus on your personal pleasure factors even before you step on the course. There's more joy in golf just waiting to be discovered. Dr. Gary Wiren is a PGA Master Professional, author of the PGA Teaching Manual (as well as many other books), and the 1987 PGA Teacher of the Year. Dr. Wiren is Chairman of the Golf Around the World and can be reached through them at 561-848-8896 or by e-mail: garywiren@aol.com. You can also visit their website: www.golfaroundtheworld.com |
